If you are white and want to be friend with Kristel Baldoz, please fill out Form N-403: Application for Friendship with Asian Person (For White People Only) and email it to [email protected]
Below please find a sample application filled by one of Kristel's white friends.
Application for Friendship with Asian Person
(For White People Only)
START HERE — Type or print in black ink. Type or print "N/A" if an item is not applicable or the answer is none, unless otherwise indicated. Failure to answer all of the questions may delay Asian processing your Form N-403.
NOTE: This application form is only for white people to complete. If you are a non-white person, you do not need to complete this form for friendship.
FAMILY NAME: Mckenzie
GIVEN NAME: Ian
DATE OF BIRTH: 5/21/1989
If you answered MALE to the previous questions, please answer the following questions:
- Do you identify as a cis male? Yes
- Are you seeking friendship with an Asian woman? No
- Do you fetishize Asian women? No
If you answered YES to the last question, unfortunately, you do not meet the qualifications for this application. Please complete Form N-415.
OCCUPATION: art handler
ACTIVE YEARS: 12
What is your annual income?
Define Asian in your own words
a noun used by white people to describe a person not obviously white, and definitely not Black, but otherwise unknown
correlatively, a noun used by white people for any food involving sesame other than bagels
according to my mother, "the worst drivers" and/or "unintelligent female" and/or "unintelligent driver"
What is the model minority myth?
a fictive narrative about a particular minority group or groups universally excelling in white and bourgeois moral/economic categories. This is used to elide the existence of inequality and propagate the feasibility of the "American Dream."
Have you had Asian friends? Yes
If you answered NO, please complete form N-410. If you answered YES, how many Asian friends have you had throughout your lifetime? (Do not include your pharmacist, math teacher, nurse, tour guide, exotic lover, etc.)
Please list 13 friends who identify as Asian (transracial excluded). If you have less than 13 Asian identified friends, list them all here
ADDITIONAL MATERIALS REQUIRED: Provide at least one photograph of yourself with each friend you have listed above along with screenshots of text message exchanges with listed friend.
Photo courtesy of the artist.
ID: Screenshot of text messages with Saraaaaa.
Photo courtesy of the artist.
ID: Screenshot of text messages with Komoto.
I swear (affirm) and certify that I know that the contents of this Form N-403 Application for Friendship with Asian Person (For White People Only), subscribed by me, are complete, true, and correct.
Applicant's Printed Name
Family Name (Last Name): McKenzie Given Name (First Name): Ian Middle Name (if applicable): Alexander
Applicant's Signature (signed)
Date of Signature (mm/dd/yyyy) 04/03/2022
Cover Image Description: Kristel's White Friend Application carved onto a ceramic tablet, with the header "Form N-403: Application for Friendship with Asian Person (For White Person Only)." Photo courtesy of the artist.